interesting
this is pretty good - - i think your ideas and drawing skills are there - but whats missing is a bit of production value - - i think if you spent an extra few days to get different voice actors (all the voices are the same person ..least thats what it sounds like), and take a second look at the pacing you would have a really solid thing here
also consider adding music or ambient noise? - - but overall a good start, if you can stick with it ; )